How Children Perceive Their Grandparents

1.    She was in the bathroom, putting  on her makeup, under the watchful  eyes of her young granddaughter,  as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and  started to leave, the little one  said, "But Grandma, you forgot to  kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"   I will  probably never put lipstick  on again without thinking about  kissing the toilet paper good-bye.... 2. My young grandson called the  other day to wish me Happy   Birthday.  He asked me how old  I was, and I told him, 80.    My grandson was quiet for  a moment, and then he asked,   "Did you  start at 1?" 3. After putting her grandchildren  to bed, a grandmother changed  into old slacks and a droopy blouse  and proceeded to wash her hair.   As she  heard the children getting  more and  more rambunctious,  her patience grew thin.  Finally,  she threw a towel around  her head and stormed into   their room, putting them back  to bed with stern warnings.   As she left the room,  she heard the three-year-old  say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?" 4. A grandmother was telling  her little granddaughter what  her own  childhood was like.   "We used to skate outside on  a pond.   I had a swing made  from a tire; it hung from  a tree in our front yard.   We rode our pony.  We picked  wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed,   taking this all in.  A t last  she said, "I sure wish I'd  gotten to know you  sooner!" 5.  My grandson was visiting  one day when he asked,  "Grandma, do you know  how you and God  are alike?" I mentally  polished my halo and  I said, "No, how  are we alike?''  "You're  both old," he replied. 6. A little girl was diligently  pounding away on her  grandfather's word processor.  She told him she was writing  a story. "What's it about?" he asked.  "I don't know,"  she replied. "I can't read." 7.  I didn't know if my  granddaughter had learned  her colors yet, so I decided  to test her.  I would point out   something and ask what color  it was.  She would tell me and  was always correct.  It was fun  for me, so   I continued.  A t last,  she headed for the door, saying,  "Grandma, I think you should try  to figure out some of these colors  yourself!" 8. When my grandson Billy  and I entered our vacation  cabin,  we kept the lights  off until we were inside to  keep from attracting pesky   insects.   Still, a few fireflies  followed us in.  Noticing  them before I did,  Billy whispered, "It's no  use Grandpa.  Now the  mosquitoes are coming after  us with flashlights." 9. When my grandson asked  me how old I was, I teasingly  replied, "I'm not sure."   "Look in your underwear, Grandpa,"  he advised  "Mine says I'm 4 to 6." 10.. A second grader came home  from school and said to her  grandmother, "Grandma, guess  what?  We learned how to make  babies today."  The grandmother,  more than a little surprised,  tried to keep her cool. "That's  interesting." she said...  "How  do you make babies?"   "It's simple," replied the girl.  "You just change 'y' to 'i' and  add 'es'." 11. Children's Logic: "Give me a  sentence about a public servant,"  said a teacher. The small boy wrote:   "The fireman came down the ladder  pregnant."   The teacher took the  lad aside to correct him.  "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the  young boy confidently. 'It means  carrying a child." 12. A grandfather was delivering  his grandchildren to their home  one day when a fire truck zoomed  past.  Sitting in the front seat of  the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.   The children started discussing  the dog's duties. "They use him  to keep crowds back," said  one child. "No," said another.  "He's just  for good luck.."  A third child brought the  argument to a close."They  use the dogs," she said firmly,  "to find the fire hydrants." 13. A 6-year-old was asked  where his grandma lived.  "Oh," he said, "she lives  at the airport, and when  we want her, we just go get her.   Then, when we're done having  her visit, we take her back  to the airport." 14. Grandpa is the smartest man  on earth!  He teaches me good   things, but I don't get to see him  enough to get as smart as him! 15. My Grandparents are funny,  when they bend over,  you  hear  gas leaks and they blame their dog.